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2 Minute Drills for Parents
Avoid the Dreaded PGA
In PCA's Second-Goal Parent® workshops, we urge parents to avoid the dreaded PGA (Post-Game Analysis). Resist the temptation to break down the game or individual plays immediately after the game or even on that car ride home. Your emotions, and your children's, are still running hot.
Usually, it's best to let your son or daughter raise the topic. If, after giving your children some space, you feel the need to seize a teachable moment, do so in the context of providing unconditional love and support, rather than a technique critique. |
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For more PCA advice for parents, watch this video from Joy Fawcett, Former U.S. National Women's Soccer Team star and PCA National Advisory Board Member.
» WATCH VIDEO
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Parents Approaching a Coach
It is natural for sports parents to occasionally wonder about issues such as playing time, position, or the tone a coach takes with their children. Sometimes that calls for the parent to approach the coach to discuss the matter.
Ideally, you would have made early, positive contact with that coach, introducing yourself at season's start, offering to help the team out however you can, and conveying the excitement your son or daughter has for the sport. That way, if an issue arises, you are not a stranger to the coach and there is a basis for discussion. |
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For more PCA advice for parents, watch this video from Summer Sanders, Olympic Gold Medal Swimmer and PCA National Advisory Board Member.
» WATCH VIDEO
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Coaching Your Own Kids
Coaching your own child is among the greatest challenges and most rewarding experiences you may ever have. A key challenge is avoiding favoritism (and, conversely, being overly critical to avoid the impression of favoritism). Two techniques can help.
One is to have an assistant coach work more with your child than you do. Another, especially for younger children, is to wear a coaching hat at practice and games and to remind your child that when you are wearing your coaching hat, you are more coach than parent.
Done well, coaching your child can create deep bonds with your children, because the emotional intensity of sports reveals and shapes aspects of character that you and your children otherwise might never see in each other. |
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For more PCA advice for parents, watch this video from Oliver Luck, West Virginia University Athletic Director and father of Stanford University Quarterback Andrew Luck.
» WATCH VIDEO
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Parents' Perspective
Parents can help their children get the most out of youth sports by looking beyond the scoreboard. A youth sports experience put into perspective, with plenty of unconditional love and a focus on life lessons, can equip children with much of what they need to succeed in life.
Reward players for their hard work and commitment, no matter what the results, and they will grow into hard-working, committed young men and women. An opportunity for you to teach that lesson, and for your children to learn it, is contained within just about every moment of every practice and game. |
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For more PCA advice for parents, watch this video from Rick Davis, Former Pro Soccer Player.
» WATCH VIDEO
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Coach/Parent Partnership
The following guidelines can contribute to a Coach/Parent Partnership that help your child have the best possible sports experience:
- Recognize the commitment the coach has made: Remember that the coach spends many hours of preparation beyond practices and games.
- Let the coach coach: It can be confusing for a child to hear someone other than the coach yelling instructions.
- Don't put the player in the middle: It's all too common for parents to share their disapproval of a coach with their children. Seek a meeting with coaches if you think they aren't handling a situation well.
Observe a "cooling off" period: Emotions often run high -- wait a day or two before discussing your frustrations with the coach. |
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For more PCA advice for parents, watch this video from Doc Rivers, Boston Celtics Coach and PCA National Advisory Board Member.
» WATCH VIDEO
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Big Picture
Issues such as playing time and what position your child plays pale in comparison to the Big Picture: What life lessons can your child take from sports? How can you, as a parent, help your child process those life lessons? How can you and your children's coaches seize the endless procession of Teachable Moments inherent in sports?
Even when facing an unpleasant playing time issue, life lessons abound, such as the need to persist even against long odds, how to be a team player and recognizing that you are -- and will remain -- a part of something bigger than yourself. Looking often at the Big Picture keeps things in perspective for you and your child. |
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For more PCA advice for parents, watch this video from Joe Ehrmann, Former NFL Pro Bowl player, PCA National Advisory Board Member and Founder of Coach for America.
» WATCH VIDEO
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Unconditional Support
Perhaps the biggest fear of most youth athletes is making a mistake in a crucial situation that hurts the team. Standing by your children in this situation is one of the most effective ways to demonstrate your unconditional love and support.
Show them that the mistake is no big deal in the grand scheme of things by flashing a thumbs-up, smiling, and saying, "That's okay, don't let it stop you. You'll get the next one." If you or your child's coach has established a Mistake Ritual, such as the "no sweat" gesture of flicking your brow, use that ritual as a subtle reminder to get rid of the mistake and ready for the next play. |
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For more PCA advice for parents, watch this video from Summer Sanders, Olympic Gold Medal Swimmer and PCA National Advisory Board Member.
» WATCH VIDEO
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Oliver Luck on Life Lessons Through Sports
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As Stanford University Quarterback Andrew Luck awaits Saturday's Heisman Trophy ceremony, his father, Oliver, a former NFL quarterback and current athletic director at West Virginia University, shares his thoughts on life lessons through sports and the importance of PCA.
» WATCH VIDEO
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The 100-point exercise
One way to enhance the parent-athlete relationship (and the overall parent-child relationship!) is to explore your child's youth sports goals, as well as your own. Take time to explicitly examine these sets of goals, compare them, and then ensure that your behavior is consistent with achieving those goals:
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Identify your top five goals for your child's sports experience.
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Assign points to each goal, in terms of their importance to you, so the total points equal 100.
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Commit to a plan for using words and actions, on and off the playing fields, that contribute to achieving the goals you've identified.
The final piece to the puzzle? If your children are old enough, ask them to do the exercise. The similarities and differences you discover will serve as talking points for wonderful conversations that will help all of you get the most from the youth sports experience! |
For more PCA advice for parents, watch this video from Joe Ehrmann, Former NFL Pro Bowl player, PCA National Advisory Board Member and Founder of Coach for America.
» WATCH VIDEO |
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